Käyttäjä:BermanPeterkin441
We're able to hardly keep our hands off each other; we seemed to be cuddling, close, intimate at almost every opportunity. But now the spark went, Liz doesn't seem to have exactly the same desires anymore and it is tearing us apart. An impressive statement said within the first session of relationship counselling. However it highlights a problem that lots of couples face yet find hard to deal with or perhaps talk about.
The client reflects the experience of a lot of us in a new relationship. You're drawn to your lover, it feels like it'll last forever you've got a real passion a desire to have them. You seem to share the same degree of libido and every time you see them it seamless comfort. Unfortunately this high fades and because the relationship lengthens in a more normal daily existence the hormones fade and that we get back to our natural level of libido. Herein lies the issue, when partners natural libido is very different, and contains the ability to upset or perhaps destroy relationships.
Things commonly heard in relationship counselling are: they don't love me any more because I'm too fat (/ugly/old/etc.). The partner takes the guilt on themselves. Perhaps they project the guilt on to their partner: You do not even try, should you loved me you would want to be intimate, I do not understand why it's changed.
In fact there are a variety of reasons that libido can alter; it may be simple things like being to tired or too stressed. There are a number of medical causes like some medications result in a change in desire or alterations in hormonal levels (particularly testosterone) can alter libido.
Most counsellors will tell you the biggest trouble with a difference in sex drives in a relationship is that the partners have stopped talking about it. The partner with the higher drive often will sulk and feel like a martyr. They will believe that they cannot bring the topic up for fear of a fight or being made to feel that they're a monster for feeling desire. Similarly the partner using the lower drive wants to steer clear of the subject, perhaps feeling that even mentioning the topic is likely to bring on advances that they're not sure they want. They end up feeling pressured and guilty that they feel by doing this. Occasionally the pair may become intimate, but unless both have the desire then it is often unsatisfying and even awkward.
In relationship counselling, there isn't any magic fix, it offers the chance to come with an honest dialogue one where the pressure is eased, one high is definitely an interested, non-judgemental participant to provide perspective and alternate views. Often couples discover that they've become so centered on this single facet of their relationship that they have lost sight from the other great things in their relationship, perhaps they have lost the individual that they're within the relationship with. Counselling provides a method to reconnect with your partner, your relationship. You can look at compromise and accepting on another's needs. Differing Libidos aren't no more a relationship; rather they can be the catalyst to a better more honest one.
